Give Me A Break!!!

Five out of the 7 days a week, my 8 yr old, hints at wanting a sibling..... you know, one of these... "I want to be a big sister", "I sure wish I had a little sister", "If I had a little brother or sister, I would always have someone to play with", "Mommy, I cleaned up my room, does that make me be responsible enough to be a big sister," or the direct hint; "Mommy, when are you going to have another baby?". Sigh......

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs "I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING, MOMMY IS TRYING!!!!" But instead, I change the subject, as my heart aches for her.

I never knew that his could be so hard. My 8 year old was an unplanned miracle; a blessing from a previous relationship. My year was up on my BC at the time, and I hadn't made my annual appointment with my OBGYN, and during that little window.. here she came! I always wanted to have at least 3 children, and being that I am the youngest , and my siblings are 7 and 10 years older than me, always wanted to have children closer in age. A lot of times I felt like an only child, and I was envious of my friends who had siblings close to them.

So when my daughter came along, and being unmarried, I wanted to wait until I was married and stable. Well 8 yrs later, I am married to a wonderful man, and ovulation/conceptionally challenged. As Alanis Morissette sings, Isn't it Ironic?