Thursday, January 27, 2011

I think I am out for this cycle...

I was really hopeful on Tuesday. I wasn't feeling my best due to fighting this cold, but around 1:00 am early Wednesday morning I was awaken by a really upset, nauseous stomach. I won't go into the TMI details, but throwing up was part of it. Although I felt terrible, I couldn't help but get excited about what that could mean.

I stayed home yesterday to rest. I prayed that this wasn't a flu bug, and I could actually be preggers. Well...... around early evening, I began to spot....... Figures. Just another way for the Reproductive Gods to make a fool out of me again.

Since then, I have been spotting off and on. I am not sure if this means AF is on her way, or my body is going back to its irregular, spot-when-it-freakin'-feels-like ways. I just feel so defeated once again. I haven't even told H yet. This time around, I dread saying those words out loud. I am not sure why, I've had tons of practice month after month.

I have to find a new OBGYN. My insurance for my new job doesn't kick in until Feb 1st. I am not sure if my RE is covered with this insurance. I just feel like I am starting all over on this heartbreaking journey.

On the up side... I was given an award! When I get home I will nominate and tell a few things about me.

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