I POAS yesterday morning........BFN! (no surprises there). Although I must admit that I kind of thought that with all the issues surrounding this appointment that maybe it wasn't meant me for me to go because maybe i was already BFP.... Gotta love how your mind can play tricks on you.
So after the BFN, I decided to keep my appointment with the RE. He was nice. I could tell, he was surprised when I told him about the routine things my OB didn't do. I won't dwell on her....
He listened as I gave him a run-down of my TTC experience this year. After some assessments, the diagnoses was clear. PCOS. I'm not surprised since my last OB hee-haw'd around this possibility. From there, he created a game plan. Metformin, and a strict diet. He stated that at this stage the Clomid won't work, until the underlying problem was taken care of. I am to follow this strict diet for 3 mos and have a follow-up appointment in February. I am still trying to wrap my head around everything.
Positive: Now I know what's going on, and can do something about it
Negative: This diagnosis and treatment pushes BFP off longer than I would like.
What really bothers me is that this is something I could have known 3 mos ago! I could be in a better place to TTC right now, had my OB did what would be routine steps. UGH! I am really trying to not let that get me down.
AF still hasn't come. RE told me if by day 45 and AF is still not here and I have a BFN call the office for a prescription of Provera.
This is going to be so hard, but I just gotta do it.
I must admit.......
"During this process, you try to grasp at any hope, imaginary symptom, just any confirmation that you will be preggers one day soon. It's quite an emotional rollercoaster. I remember being on one of my many TTC boards early this year in January. I came across a thread that read "baby psychic". I clicked on it and read about this "Baby psychic"and her supposed accuracy of predicting if and when you will be pregnant. Now, I am a skeptic when it comes to things like this. I see this as entertainment. Maybe it caught me at a desperate moment, maybe I just wanted to hear some shred of hope that we would be successful this year, I am not sure....But I decided to entertain this entertainment. Besides it was free! I emailed this "psychic" and gave her the required information (name, age, birthdate of H and I). I guess I just needed to hear that it would happen for us. Well, months went by and I didn't hear anything. To be honest, I completely forgot about it. Well sometime in May or June, I was checking my email and a was surprised when I received a response. She stated. "They show a girl and relate her to NOVEMBER so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in". Most of me blew it off as pure nonsense, but a little part of me hoped it was true. Here we are to November.....and I am so embarrassed and feel so foolish that I even gave this any 2nd thought. Aw well, it was fun for a moment...... Unless I will be due in November... ;-) lol"
Back to reality and this new journey.
I am now in the process of figuring our menus for me of the foods I can eat. With this Metformin, the RE wants me to start with 1 pill a day and slowly increase it to 4 pills a day provided no side effects. I will document this journey.
But at this moment, I feel both happy and sad; both empowered and defeated.....
It's been a long time! Part 2
13 years ago
Don't feel too despondent. Some people find Metformin really worlks for them. I started Metformin in March after being diagnosed with anovulatory cycles and PCOS. By August I had lost almost 40 pounds, was ovulating and got a BFP. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteI've been tossing this post around in my head for a little while this morning and I'm kind of caught. Part of me believes that continuing the Clomid isn't necessarily a lost cause as many women have great success with PCOS when they hit the right dosage. The other part of me thinks that your RE is awesome. I really think there is a lot to be said for a medical professional who is keen to treat the problem rather than quell the symptoms. Attack the problem at the roots and suddenly a whole lot of doors open up.
ReplyDeleteI like that he is gradually increasing your dose of metformin too. You are less likely to have problems with the more common side effects (primarily guts problems e.g. nausea, diarrhoea etc) than if he dialed you up to maximum straight away.
From where you are standing though I also understand that this is a bit gutting. There becomes this incredibly drive to get pregnant NOW. Any kind of delay, despite how valid or necessary feels like someone has ripped your heart out and punched you in the guts a few thousand times. It feels like every single day drags by towards the time you can try again... as if each cycle wasn't already long enough. I really wish that I could provide you with some magical way to make it all better and to feel good about what is going on - but I can't. :-(
Your new guy... your RE... at the moment, from what you've written, sounds like he is great value. Hang on to him. Even though this isn't what you wanted to do or hear, this guy is genuinely interested in helping you, not just racing to the end and taking your money. I am so, so relieved to hear/read it too given how bodgey your old doc was. You really, really are on the right track now and you right to feel empowered as this guy is gonna help you take control of your body so you can ovulate well and be awesome for Mooshkah and the baby or babies to come. :-)
xxxx
Sounds like a great plan to me. I started taking Met in September, and although it can cause some pretty nasty GI issues (stay away from carbs, sugar and greasy foods) it did make weight just kinda fall off, which is a pretty sweet side effect if you ask me! Good Luck to you!
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