Day 37

Yep, I missed Day 35 completely.

With all that cell phone drama, it completely slipped my mind. October has really been a month of misses for me: missing positivity, $100 swipe from my purse; my iphone that I kept everything on, and the TV remote! Ok, the last one sounds comical, but I really totally destroyed a room looking for that doggone TV remote.

What really burns me about losing my cell is that I had tons of pictures on it. AND of course I didn't back it up. I took Mooshkah to a Halloween Carnival Saturday evening. I purposely left my purse in the trunk only taking my keys, phone, and cash. When we first walked in there, there was this mini haunted house that we we walk in. There was this part of the haunted house you had to crawl through. I think that is the point it fell out my pocket. By the end of it, I realized it was gone. I told everyone, asked around, went in there about a half dozen more times, to the point that me knees are bruised. No such luck. I am still trying to hold on to faith that there are still good Samaritan's out there. I just really want my pictures. I decided to go ahead and replace the phone last night. My cell is also my house phone so I need a working number that hopefully the gig I applied for will call!

Tomorrow is my RE appointment. I am not sure how I feel. To be honest, I am nervous and not very excited for it. H has to work, so I will be going alone. I wish he could be there. I just feel like I am going to get bad news. Like "try for another year, and then come back to see us news. I am not sure what to expect. I feel like I will be opening a can of worms with this appointment. I just wish this step wasn't necessary, and that I could do this on my own. I know that sounds crazy. What if the Dr. and the staff aren't nice? I don't want another Dr. that is not patient and doesn't listen. My thoughts are all over the place. Because I was an emotional wreck my last Dr. appt, I decided to go ahead and take the whole day off.

I will pick up a test tonight and POAS tonight or tomorrow morning. I am dreading that too! I know it's negative, I know there is no way we successful this month, since Madame ovaries didn't respond to the Clomid, but I don't want to see the negative either. It's just so hard to see.

I hate being so negative....

On a lighter note, Here is my Mooshkah as a "School Teacher" for this Halloween: