I have been away for a few days.
I am up to 3 metformin pills a day. For the most part, I done pretty well with the diet. I did have a few slip ups... I've always tried to avoid scales. But now, I need to purchase one so I can see and keep track my progress. Still no AF, so I will call then week about getting provera.
There has been a lot of things going on in my world lately especially with family. One being, My great uncle passed away the end of last week, so Sunday me and a few of my cousins headed out of town to attend the funeral yesterday. His home-going wasn't unexpected. He lived a long blessed life. I am at peace knowing he is pain free and at peace. My uncle is my grandmother's older brother. My grandmother passed away 2 years ago very unexpectedly. Being down there with everyone brought back all the emotions. I don't think I allowed myself to mourn for her loss. She was a amazing person, and we were very close. I really miss her.
The other family issues I will write about at another time. However, with regards to everything going on, H hasn't been as supportive as he should, thus now there is tension at home too. Ugh!
This morning I log in to learn 2 blogs I follow have just gotten their BFP!! I am so happy for them. I wish them a happy and healthy pregnancy!! It is also bittersweet. It just magnifies my situation that we still haven't been successful, and still have a ways to go.
At this point my spirit is low. The majority of my blogs lately have been so down and negative. Granted, I know TTC can be emotional, and its okay to feel what you feel. But its not me. I am usually a positive person, I've always been that way. However, for a while now I have been so consumed with pity party's of TTC failure that I've lost sight of me. I've forgotten that TTC is not what I am all about. For now own, my blog won't be just about that either. It will just be about me and all that that means.
I am going to be taking a break for a few days to do a little mental cleaning, and renewing my spirit.
I am sorry this post has been all over the place......
It's been a long time! Part 2
13 years ago
Not the first time... I would love to give you a great big hug right now. The frustration, the sadness, the negative emotions... the whole brain drain, how it interferes with your true self. Yup, I have written that all too many times before and hence, can relate all too well.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to read both of the loss of your uncle but also that you are having trouble the other half in regards to support.
It really does sound like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now and taking some time out to get unwound will be a good thing.
We are all here whenever you are ready for whatever story you want to post here.
xxxx
I'm so sorry for your loss :(
ReplyDelete