Back in Bid'ness!!!

AF has managed to stay gone since Friday....let the bd'ing begin!!!!! :-)

Back from the New OBGYN

and so far so good.....

I liked him. He had a positive energy and was honest. I took him through the last year, and explained what's currently going on. He had empathy and compassion. He told me flat out, he is not an infertility specialist, and based on the past year's journey I am certainly a candidate for an RE. (of course something I already knew) Clomid is as far as he goes in the line of infertility. He gave me the option to try things out with him, or he would refer me. He had a plan. First he did some blood work, checking for anemia (considering the amount of blood I lost) and pregnancy (laughable). Then he did an ultrasound to see if anything going on. (all clear). He was surprised to hear my last OBGYN had not done a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) on me. So he wanted to do one of those (I will have that done next Wednesday). We will meet a week after and see what's what. So the next couple of months I will see how this goes, and if I feel I am ready to try an RE again, I will have him refer me. The nearest RE in my insurance network is 50 min. away in a different city. At this point, the jury is still out on hopeful, but I don't feel defeated either.

As for the bleeding....that's the joys of PCOS. Aunt flow has decided to disappear again. (not that I am complaining). I hope she stays gone for awhile.

Really??? TMI Vent

As I was sitting here getting ready to blog about how FINALLY Aunt Flo has left, I felt that ol' familiar feeling... SO I make a mad dash to the bathroom and guess what? She is freakin back again! I can't believe I started bleeding again. I was so excited that it was gone just in time for my first appointment with the new OBGYN!!! I guess I got cocky.... It was oh so light yesterday, and completely gone by the evening, and there was no sign of it in the morning, and all afternoon, until now. I was happy to be free from those products, you know the tampon-pad combination. I mean really... I have been wearing these products for more than 35 days. I just wanted to feel what it was like to just wear underwear with no contraptions on it. Yup, I got cocky. Now I just want to cry. I am so beyond sick of this.

Update...

AF is still here. Yup... been bleeding over a month now....

I have a Doctor appointment this Friday with a new OBGYN. I am not sure what will happen, considering I am still freakin bleeding. I hope this will be more than just a consultation. I hope this doctor will be compassionate and a little more aggressive....

When I began calling around to different OBGYN's to see if they're taking new patients (there isn't nearly as many as where I was living a few months ago), so many were full or not taking anyone unless you are preggers. I wanted to say so bad to say to them, "well I am trying to be, working to be...does that count? Is that good enough?"

I came across this office who has about 5 OBGYN's in there. I spoke with the nurse. Out of frustration/desperation, I spilled the last years events. Everything from clomid cycles, metformin, irregular bleeding, RE referral, everything. I then disclose how frustrated and heartbreaking this has been, and I really want a doctor who understands that, who will take the time to explain things to me, not throw everything under the rug and say "It will happen", etc.... I can't believe I went on and on. The nurse was very sweet. She begin telling me her story, of how long it took, and she completely understands what I am going through, etc. There is a brand new doctor there, and she told me he is really nice, and she suggest I try him out.

Well, I meet with him this Friday. I am nervous. I don't want to be disappointment. I want to feel like there is at least a plan in place, and I want him to make this freakin bleeding stop!

Wordless Wednesday.....

AF over stayed her welcome. She is still here. Been here since the end of January... Yup, you read that correctly, SHE IS STILL HERE.... She won't take a hint and leave already.... ^$&$@!!

Wishing Everyone....

... A Happy Valentine's Day!!!!! :-)

Put Me In The Game, Coach!

How in the heck am I supposed TTC if I haven't stopped spotting since the end of Jan? Normally for me AF gets pretty heavy, but this time, its just been spotting to light-flow constantly since the end of Jan. I just want it to go away so we can get back to TTC. I just feel like I can't get a break! It's one thing to try and to not succeed, but now I can't even try! ugh.....

In other news, Friday, after the 3 snow days; I jumped out on a limb and applied for grad school. I have been wanting to do this for sometime. After I got married, I kept putting it off in case I got pregnant. Well, I guess I am tired of putting my life on hold, for something that may not be in the cards. I am so nervous. I pray I get in. My undergrad gpa was not as good as it should have been. It's not horrible, but could be better. I finished my undergrad around 7/8 years ago, so I hope they take that into account. I decided not to tell anyone, not even H. That way I can avoid any questions and keep this just for me. Fingers crossed!

At least this gives me something else to obsess on! ;-)