No Follies were found. Crushed
The other day I distinctly remember feeling sharp little pains from what I believe, coming from my ovaries. I was so excited because, I never felt any part of ovulation, so I was hopeful this cycle would be a success.
Fast forward to this morning, as I am sitting on the ultrasound table spread eagle nervous about the outcome. Figures. Just like the scan last month, my right ovary showed nothing. I was banking on my left ovary, praying that my left showed something. Nothing. I fought back tears as I heard her say "Oh honey, I am so sorry, but blah blah blah..." I just kept telling myself, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
I was taken to another room, because I still needed to have my annual done. Once the nurse closed the door I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. Why is this so hard? I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I am being punished for something. The Dr. came in to do the annual exam. She could sense I was upset, and tried to ease my frustration.
Last night, H and I came up with tons of questions for the Dr. in the event no follies were found. I wrote every question down and set the paper next to my purse so I wouldn't forget. This morning, I was rushing around because I was running behind schedule and I left my the questions. ARGH! I didn't realize it until I was at the Dr. office. I don't know, maybe deep down, I didn't think I would need them, because this was going to be our month.
During the examination, I tried to remember every question, but I was just so upset. Basically, the Dr. told me she wants to keep me at 100 mg of Clomid, because although it didn't work this cycle, it worked the last cycle. I questioned her about last cycle, how even with the HCG shot I still didn't ovulate, and needed the assistance of Provera to bring AF. Her response " That's odd, I am not sure what happened with that??" WTH??? She also stated that even though H and I have been TTC for over a year, this is only my 3rd round of Clomid, and it can take anywhere from 6 - 12 mos??? &%$%#!!!!! She did refer me to a RE that is in a totally different city. She explained that basically she no longer works with major infertility, or go beyond Clomid anymore, and the RE should be the next step.
The RE is based in a different state (Indiana), but has a satellite office in my state, in the city that is about hour away from me. Because of this, it could be awhile before I can get in. She wrote me another prescription of Clomid in the meantime. The RE of course is not in my insurance provider network. Yes, please give me more hoops to jump through!
I asked her, is there a chance that maybe I already ovulated?? I know I am grasping at straws. Her response "anything can happen.." She encouraged me to still "BD often." But really, what's the point?
I contacted insurance to see what I need to do about this out of network RE. I contacted the RE and I have an appointment November 2nd.
I am still trying to digest everything. I just feel so defeated.
